The Toxic Masculinity and Femininity

THE TOXIC MASCULINITY AND FEMININITY

By Dr S V Bulatov – registered homeopath

The term toxic masculinity has been raised in society since 1980’s. It is an opposite of healthy masculinity.

The toxic masculinity plays a huge role in the GBV in South Africa and worldwide.

It is a cultural concept of manliness that glorifies stoicism, strength, virility, and dominance, and that is socially maladaptive or harmful to mental health: Men and women both suffer when toxic masculinity perpetuates expectations that are restrictive and traumatizing.

Rav Shaul (Apostle Paul) has encouraged the Corinthian men with the following words:

¹³ Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. ¹⁴ Let all that you do be done with LOVE.

1 Cor 16:13-14

⁴ Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; ⁵ does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; ⁶ does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; ⁷ bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

⁸ LOVE NEVER FAILS!!! But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.

1 Cor 13: 4-8

A man who is TRULY MASCULINE EMBRACES RESPONSIBILITY AND LOVES, HONORS, PROTECS AND PROVIDES FOR HIS FAMILY AND LOVED ONES. He lives with INTEGRITY, MOTIVATED BY CONVICTION, NOT COMFORT OR CONVINIENCE. True masculinity is not determined by how much physical strength a man has but rather THE STRENGTH OF HIS CHARACTER.

THE RIGHT CHOICE AND SELF CONTROL ARE KEYS FOR PREVENTING GBV!!!

ALL HUMANS ARE BORN WITH FREE CHOICE. RIGHT OR WRONG CHOICE DETERMINE THE ACTIONS AND CONSEQUENCES!!!

SELF CONTROL IS A FRUIT OF THE HOLY SPIRIT!!!

SELF CONTROL SHOWS STRENGTH OF CHARACTER!!!

EVERY SINGLE PATRIARCH OF FAITH IN THE BIBLE FAILED BECAUSE OF LACK OF SELF CONTROL!!!

ONLY YESHUA HAS SHOWED TOTAL SELF CONTROL THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE, EXCEPT WHEN THE GODLY ANGER WAS EXPRESSED AND AGONIZING FEAR GRIPPED HIM IN THE GARDEN OF GETHSEMANE BEFORE HIS BETRAYAL AND ARREST. HOWEVER, HE HAS TOTALLY AND UTTERLY SURRENDERED TO HIS FATHER’S WILL APPLYING SELF CONTROL EVEN BEFORE AND DURING THE CRUCIFICTION.

Hicks writes about the following stages in man’s life:

1. Creational Male
2. Phallic Male
3. The Warrior
4. The Wounded Male
5. The Mature Man
6. The Sage

These are interpreted as life stages or seasons of a man's life, hence the title, Masculine Journey.

The five stages are: 

Stage 1: Unconscious Masculinity

Stage 2: Conscious Masculinity

Stage 3: Critical Masculinities

Stage 4: Multiple Masculinities

Stage 5: Beyond Masculinities.

The 11 masculine norms include risk-taking, disdain for homosexuality, violence, winning, emotional control, power over women, dominance, playboy, self-reliance, primacy of work and pursuit of status.

When men actively avoid vulnerability, act on homophobic beliefs, ignore personal traumas or exhibit prejudice behaviors against women, this contributes to many larger societal problems. 

Toxic masculinity is often viewed as harmful to others, but it has a negative impact on men themselves, too. Studies have found that it can contribute to mental health problems like depression or anxiety, and these things can take a toll when not dealt with properly.

Facial features typically perceived as masculine are wide faces with a wide inter-orbital distance, a wide nose, thin lips and a large and massive lower jaw.

Top 10 Toxic Masculinity behaviours

• Being stoic

Men are constantly given the message that they must be self-reliant, independent, physically tough etc. Men are told that to be this way will make them successful in terms of business, society, and finding a partner. Being vulnerable will cause men to be ridiculed.

• Being promiscuous

Typically, men will be praised by other men for sexual conquests. There is a well-known double standard regarding perceptions of male versus female promiscuity with men being praised by their peers and called ‘studs’ while rejecting women who have multiple partners and branding them ‘sluts’.

• Championing heterosexuality as the unalterable norm

Many men are programmed to react negatively to the concept of homosexuality as it is a sign of deviating from the traditional male stereotype. Through popular rhetoric and from an early age when boys are learning about gender roles, men are taught that to be homosexual is to be less masculine.

• Being violent

Statistically, men commit significantly more violent crime than women. There are numerous reasons for this, but there are clear links between male instigated violence and the need men have to use aggression and violence to prove their masculinity and bolster confidence in their masculine identity.

• Being dominant

To be preoccupied with power and dominance to a point that it causes harm to others, such as verbal, physical and online bullying. One study found that over a quarter of men thought they should have the final word in relationships, over a third of men believed that they had the right to know where their female partner was at all times.

• Sexual aggression towards women

Men who conform to toxic masculinity standards are more likely to make sexual comments or sexist jokes to women, commit sexual harassment, accept rape myths and behave as if they are entitled to women’s bodies.

• Not displaying emotion

Emotion is treated as being a feminine characteristic. Stifling emotion is seen as true manliness. From childhood, males are shamed to conform with the standard that to show emotion is weak and feminine.

• Not being a feminist ally

It is unsurprising that the overly masculine would reject men who identify as the allies of feminists. Research shows that men engaging in feminist activism are the targets of harassment by men who prescribe to toxic masculinity as it is perceived as feminine and non-conformist to toxic masculinity.

• Risk-taking

Connected to male dominance, toxic masculinity encourages taking risks to demonstrate dominance, men who buy into this are more likely to take extreme measures such as perpetrate violence, drive dangerously, gamble, abuse drugs.

• Not engaging in household chores and caregiving

Again, housework and childrearing are seen as feminine qualities. Being asked to do a feminine deemed task such as housework, or worse, a man being criticised by a woman for not cleaning appropriately is often interpreted as an emasculating assault and provokes a masculine overcompensation response.

 

In my opinion, the DECISION TO REPLACE THE TRADITIONAL AFRICAN SPIRITUALITY, CULTURE, LANGUAGES, ART AND MEDICINE WITH WESTERN ONES IN 1994/1995 IS THE PRIMARY CAUSE OF GBV!!!

 Unless the TRADITIONAL AFRICAN SPIRITUALITY, CULTURE, LANGUAGES, ART AND MEDICINE IS RESTORED GRADUALLY, THE ERADICATION OF GBV WILL BE IMPOSSIBLE!!!

 Another very prominent tendency for the past 32 years in SA is the SINGLE MOTHER HOUSEHOLD. The unborn child will be affected negatively subconsciously during the pregnancy and in the early childhood. This will have an enormous negative impact on its upbringing and behaviour in adult life.

 South Africa is reported to have among the HIGHEST PREVALENCE OF ABSENT FATHERS IN AFRICA, second only to Namibia. The country's history of slavery, colonialism, apartheid, forced migration and the migrant labor systems took fathers away from their families, disrupted cultures, traditions and South African families.

 It is estimated that 2.13 million children in South Africa is fatherless, and 9 million grow- up without fathers, a tremendous fatherhood challenge for the country (Dube 2016:2; Frazier 2015).

 In 2016, most children aged 0–6 (47,6%) lived in single-parent families of which 45,6% lived with their mothers only and 2% lived with their fathers only. The highest percentage of children who lived with their mothers only were children under the age of one (52,3%) and children aged one (49,7%).

 In the United States today, nearly 24 million children live in a single-parent family. This total, which has been rising for half a century, covers about ONE IN EVERY THREE kids across America.

 Almost a quarter of U.S. children under the age of 18 live with one parent and no other adults (23%).

 Children brought up in single mother household are:

14 TIMES more likely to commit RAPE, 20 TIMES more likely to end up in PRISON, 32 TIMES more likely to RUN AWAY from home.

 N.B. UPROOTING THE YOUTH, WRONG CHOICE, LACK OF SELF CONTROL AND SINGLE MOTHER HOUSEHOLD=CRIMINAL BEHAVIOUR AND GBV!!!

THE MOST EFFECTIVE SOLUTION IS MENTORING THE YOUTH AND WORKSHOPS FOR FATHERS!!!

 Here is a very insightful article to read:

 The Relationship Between Toxic Masculinity and Toxic Femininity and Their Impact on Social Relationships and Married Life

Seyyed Mohammad Reza Miremadi and Shahin Asadi* Medical Genetics-Harvard University. Director of the Division of Medical Genetics and Molecular Optogenetic Research. Division of Medical Genetics and Molecular Pathology Research, Harvard University, Boston Children's Hospital, USA *Correspondence Shahin Asadi Medical Genetics-Harvard University. Director of the Division of Medical Genetics and Molecular Optogenetic Research. Division of Medical Genetics and Molecular Pathology Research, Harvard University, Boston Children's Hospital E-mail: shahin.asadi1985@gmail.com ORCID id: 0000-0001-7992-7658 • Received Date: XXXXX • Accepted Date: XXXX • Publication Date: XXXX Keywords: Toxic Masculinity, Toxic Femininity, Psychological Disorder, Human Behavior. Copyright © 2023 Science Excel.

 

Abstract

 Toxic masculinity involves cultural pressures on men to behave in a certain way; In fact, toxic masculinity refers to the general belief that "masculinity" is nothing but dominance, violence and aggression; the belief that men should behave harshly and seriously and not express their feelings can be harmful to their mental health and have serious consequences for society. For this reason, such a belief is known as "toxic masculinity". There are many definitions of "toxic masculinity," but in general, toxic masculinity has three main components:

1. Toughness: Men should be physically strong, emotionally tough, and aggressive in behavior.
2. Power: Men should strive for power and social and financial status in order to gain the respect of others. Toxic masculinity is not just about acting like a man. Rather, it involves the intense pressure some men may feel to act in a way that is actually harmful. There are many definitions of "toxic masculinity" that appear in research as well as popular culture.
3. Antifemininity: This includes the idea that men should reject anything considered feminine, such as showing emotion or accepting help.

 

Introduction

 Toxic masculinity glorifies unhealthy habits. This is the belief that "self-care is for women" and that men should treat their bodies like machines by not sleeping enough, exercising even when injured, and pushing themselves to their physical limits. Toxic masculinity, in addition to putting a lot of pressure on themselves, also discourages men from visiting doctors. A 2011 study found that men with the strongest beliefs about masculinity were only half as likely to seek preventive health care as men with more moderate beliefs about masculinity. In addition to avoiding preventative treatment, toxic masculinity encourages unhealthy behaviors. A 2007 study found that the more men conformed to masculine norms, the more likely they were to engage in risky behaviors such as heavy drinking, tobacco use and avoiding vegetables. Furthermore, they were more likely to view such risky choices as "normal" [1]. Toxic masculinity also discourages men from seeking mental health treatment. Depression, anxiety, substance abuse issues and mental health problems may be considered weaknesses. A 2015 study found that men who embraced traditional notions of masculinity had more negative attitudes about seeking mental health services compared to those who held more flexible gender attitudes. Toxic masculinity may also emphasize that it is inappropriate for men to talk about men's feelings. Avoiding talking about problems or feelings may increase feelings of isolation and loneliness. This may increase feelings of loneliness. It may also reduce men's willingness to reach out for help when experiencing a mental health problem [1]. 

 

A 2013 study found A man's race and ethnicity may play a role in how he views Galley Proof that among white college students, Asian-American men were less likely to have masculine traits than white or black American men. The male imperative to remain stoic and be a good provider can lead to "John Henryism" in African-American men. This term is used to describe men who use extra effort as a way to cope with problems and continue to do so in the face of chronic stress and discrimination. A 2016 study linked "John Henryism" to an increased risk of high blood pressure and depression. It should be noted that boys of any race and ethnic background who do not act "manly enough" may be bullied at school. A 2015 National Survey of American Schools found that 85 percent of LGBTQ+ students reported being verbally harassed at school because of their gender expression or sexuality. Gender nonconforming students reported worse behavior than children who conformed to traditional gender norms and yet identified as LGBTQ+ [2]. Men who see themselves as more masculine are less likely to engage in what researchers call "helpful therapy." This means they are less likely to intervene when they witness bullying or when they see someone being assaulted. A 2019 study found that toxic masculinity can prevent victims from comforting, asking for help and standing up to the perpetrator. Men who endorse the belief that men should be strong and aggressive are more likely to perceive the negative social consequences associated with intervening as an active bystander. For example, in cases of rape, men who engaged in the most masculine behaviors were less likely to stop the rape. The study found that men would intervene in any conflict if they thought their reputation as traditional masculinity might be threatened [2]. Toxic femininity is a broad term that refers to a rigid and repressive definition of femininity, including the pressures women face to confine themselves to stereotypically feminine constructs and characteristics. Toxic femininity refers to conforming to gender binaries in order to receive conditional value in patriarchal societies. It is a concept that limits women to cooperation, passiveness, sexual submissiveness, and meekness, and derives its value from outward beauty yet pleasing to men. Toxic femininity believes that women lack agency and exist to be defined and judged of their worth by a man in their life, such as a father or husband [3]. If toxic masculinity encourages violence and dominance in order to maintain unequal power dynamics, toxic femininity instead supports the tacit acceptance of violence and dominance for survival. While toxic masculinity states that men should be tough, show no emotion and reject anything considered feminine, toxic femininity pressures women to be quiet, nurturing, submissive and be attractive. "Femininity" in this case is defined in a very shallow way that objectifies and harms women [3]. 

 

Toxic femininity includes any thoughts, actions, or behaviors of women that benefit or defer to others, usually men, at the expense of a woman's independence, agency, full range of emotions, and emotional and psychological well-being. Toxic masculinity and toxic femininity seem to be two sides of the same coin, but power is an undercurrent that pressures men to play an aggressive, violent, intimidating, and sexually dominant role in order to stay in power, and women seek to please them in power in order to avoid punishment and pain [4]. Both toxic masculinity and toxic femininity are practiced by men and women to maintain their value in society. Toxic masculinity and toxic femininity tell men and women that their worth and validity as men and women is conditioned by their adherence to these roles. These social structures reinforce the submissive behavior of women and empower men by pretending to accept violence. Like toxic masculinity, toxic femininity is made up of a myriad of culture-specific rules. However, through research and references in pop culture, the following main components have emerged:

Submissive: This is the notion that women must be ready to accept control or training. They must be "flexible" in their thinking and live only for service [4].

Excessive femininity: This involves strictly following stereotypically feminine behavior. This behavior is reinforced through punishment, such as being blamed for experiencing gender-based violence, being called the epithet "prince" or being seen as "compromising." For example, confident women are often told that their behavior is unattractive or attractive. It is feminine [4].

Monitoring femininity in others: This involves pressuring others to imitate behaviors that appear feminine, for example, making negative comments about a person's choice to have a child [4]. Sabotaging others by abusing traditionally feminine characteristics: This refers to the idea that all other women are competing for a man's attention and recognition. In this example, a person may act as a means of proving themselves, offending or harming other women. This can be done to get the attention of a man, perhaps a love interest, teacher, boss, client, or male peer. Behaviors used can include: gossiping, spreading rumors to discredit someone, and threatening social ostracism [4]. Like toxic masculinity, toxic femininity is a product of a patriarchal society. These toxic notions of femininity further deny women agency or identity. However, discussion of the term outside of academic spaces can be on the misogynistic side. They are used as a reactionary argument against feminist arguments about toxic masculinity. Some uses of the term toxic femininity propagate harmful stereotypes of female behavior while making men the primary victims of this behavior. For example, the claim that women are naturally very emotional, talkative or gossipy. This interpretation of the term is used to negate the discourse on how power is gendered and instead seeks to place feminism as the cause of gender inequality. Most of the behaviors presented as examples of toxic femininity are actually examples of misogyny or internalized misogyny [5]. Toxic femininity is made up of a person's own rules and regulations that are constantly changing. For example, some may believe that wearing high heels at work is necessary. Others avoid drinking beer because it is "masculine." Women who adhere to toxic femininity may be rewarded in society and those who do not may be punished, and this is a dynamic used by those in power to maintain their power. There is no right, or exact, way to be feminine, because the expression of femininity is personal, and a feminine inner feeling, and should not be controlled [5]. For example, a 2016 study of 14,600 people in the workplace found that less attractive but well-groomed women earned more on average than women who were more attractive but less well groomed. This means that women's grooming habits account for almost all of the wage differences in this research set. While for the men studied, their grooming habits accounted for almost half of them. The researchers therefore concluded that while good grooming is beneficial for men, it is essential for women to seek labor market rewards [6]. In contrast, a 2018 study on women's makeup use in the workplace found that makeup worn for a social night had a negative impact on perceptions of women's leadership ability. The researchers theorized that this may be due to the reinforcing characteristics of makeup that are important for relationships and having a family, which is inconsistent with the concept of social dominance in leadership. Although researchers reach mixed conclusions, these studies highlight the paradox of female beauty, whereby women are shamed for seeking idealistic beauty standards while being judged for not prescribing them. In essence, the rules are not as important as the insecurity they provoke. It is their difficulty and contradiction that makes women so desperate that it becomes easier to control and exploit women in this despair [6]. Therefore, toxic femininity is dangerous because it views women's subjugation as natural and necessary for social approval. For example, the pressure to be quiet, nurturing, and submissive can lead to women being victimized or left in unsafe situations because they feel obligated to stay. Moreover, these issues also extend beyond the home. For example, toxic femininity in the workplace can create a hostile work environment that negatively affects the mental health of female employees. In addition, toxic femininity facilitates the lack of diversity in leadership positions by preventing them from climbing the career ladder. In essence, toxic femininity is harmful to the fight for women's equality because it seeks to maintain rigid and toxic gendered power structures and systems [7]. Instead of encouraging, supporting, and celebrating women for fully expressing who they are, toxic femininity forces women to feel apologetic, confused, and ashamed for their gender stereotypes that validate thoughts, ideas, and beliefs. Furthermore, the fear of de-gendering through neutral human practices locks women into a rigid redefinition of femininity that benefits no one. However, while toxic femininity may be everywhere, there are also many examples of embodied and authentic femininity. These broad and varied presentations of femininity eschew rigid rules and focus on independence and individuality. Here are some things you can do on a daily basis to help combat the effects of toxic femininity: Take time to reflect on what you've learned and begin to forget: check with yourself and consider what misogynistic ideology you've been taught or internalized. Do you work for yourself or for a man's gaze? Do you make decisions based on what you really want or are you looking for a man's approval? Be gentle and honest with yourself and consider what other ways of thinking, being, and interacting might be truer to who you really are and want to be [7]. Speak up: Notice and call out the toxic femininity within you and the circles you're in. Have curious and courageous conversations with others and examine whether what is being said or done is in everyone's best interests or is helping to maintain patriarchal power dynamics [7]. Be careful how you use the term "toxic femininity": Use the term "toxic femininity" carefully considering the context. Remember, some uses of this phrase have been used to promote a misogynistic ideology to avoid conversations about toxic masculinity. Perhaps the situation requires you to think instead about what might be toxic about some approaches to femininity. For example, using gossip alone is a product of toxic femininity. Rumor-mongering is not an act done exclusively by women, and it may be considered misogynistic to express it. In fact, the real toxic trait is controlling femininity, and gossip is one of the ways people try to do this. After all, it is these rigid gender structures that must be combated, and this may help us to accept a deeper picture of the pressing presence of women in society [7].

 

In this study, we examined 160 men with toxic masculinity and 160 women with toxic femininity. Among the men with toxic masculinity behavior, 26 of them had the worst toxic masculinity coefficient, with very violent behaviors, including the way they speak and choose words to make sentences, as well as the way they choose clothes and the color of clothes. Among the 160 men who had the behavioral and moral character of toxic masculinity, 14 of them had the lowest coefficient of toxic masculinity, which includes talking less at parties, laughing less at work or in society, wearing clean, ironed and formal clothes. Like a suit, but they are monochromatic and usually in dark colors and use men's perfumes with a warm, bitter or spicy character. Among the 160 men participating in this study who had toxic masculinity, 120 of them had mild toxic masculinity and preferred to keep their toxic masculinity hidden from women at work and in the community. Also, in this study, out of 160 women with toxic femininity behavior, 32 of them have very feminine behaviors such as flirting with men in the community and workplace, including wearing sexy clothes with shiny red or shiny pink colors and using shiny and sexy red lipstick, as well as the use of very sexy women's perfumes with very high performance in the workplace and society. Among the 160 women with toxic femininity who participated in this research, 128 of them had mild toxic femininity who preferred to keep their toxic femininity hidden from men at work and in society.

 

Discussion

 According to this study, for toxic men and women, it can be concluded that the presence of toxic characters in men and women can be very harmful for the society and the family environment, which undermines the spiritual and biological rights of men and women in the society decreases. Based on the studies conducted for toxic masculinity and femininity, it can be concluded that although the behavioral characters of toxic femininity are considered good and attractive for men in the society and workplace, they are very harmful in marital and family life. But for toxic masculinity at the minimum possible, no reward is given to these men from the work environment, but for toxic femininity in most workplaces, a double reward is considered compared to the behavior of toxic femininity. However, both toxic masculinity and toxic femininity in human society should be present in order to understand the merits of non-toxic masculinity and femininity and pay more attention to their values [8].

 

References

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